Gode nyheder

That means 'good news' in Danish. The pronunciation goes something like 'mmfffsskr grnddghrwqqs (cough)'

Anyway, I've been reading a lot of Danish news lately. Trying to participate in the cultural life and all. Yesterday dumped favorable developments by the truckload:

Remember that Sri Lankan orphan that the Danish government wanted to send back home to his civil-warring, pastryless nation? Well, they've had a change of heart (Pronounced 'The UN talked all kinds of shit on them') and are allowing him to stay. The kid's still stranded in Ebeltoft, which is pretty much Denmark's answer to Detroit, but at least he's not tribed-up in the 'Lank.

New green card rules taking effect next spring aim to make it easier for educated foreigners to stay in Denmark and find work. 'Bout time these low-birth-rate-having motherfuckers figured out that you have to let some people stick around. This is exceedingly good news for me. Like the Australian system, the new rules give points for things like being young (check), being educated (check) speaking Danish (ehhhh), and having useful skills (does ping pong count?). I'm not getting my hopes up because the immigration service here already hates me, but it will at least be interesting to see just what roadblocks they construct to thwart my Danish dreams this time.

In a story that begins with the 'Duh' Award-winning statement "The brand 'Denmark' doesn't have the same recognition as Coca-Cola and Apple," culture minister Bendt Bendtsen details his plan to brand Denmark as an "intelligent society which has found solutions to difficult problems." A worldwide survey found that most people only know the 'stereotypical' Danish character of bacon farmers, pastry makers, and Muslim-violence incitors. U.S. respondents named 'nudity, divorce and women's liberation' as the most prominent associations with Denmark. I love my people sometimes. The survey also revealed that, no matter what country you're from or what language you speak, Bendt Bendtsen is a hella funny name.

Who's more Haggard?

Fun with embedding

Look, I can put YouTube shit in blog posts now, wheeeee!
This is allegedly a geniune audition tape from a guy trying to be in Stanley Kubrick's abuse-fest 'Full Metal Jacket'.
(via Defamer)

Holla, schola

I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but I'm in the middle of a semester-long project about milk. Yes, milk. I'm writing a 15-page paper and organizing a conference (don't ask) on its mammiforous splendor. So far this pretty much means that I've been boring my friends comatose with descriptions of agricultural advances and using the word 'titamins' far more than is appropriate. This project is proving my theory that just about anything can be interesting if you look into it enough. I, for one, find the following factoids pretty interesting:

• Milk is credited with bringing Denmark out of poverty in the late 1800s, and the large-scale dairy cooperatives are the reason Denmark is so non-hierarchical and cooperative to this day.
• People in Romania drink twice as much milk as the rest of Europe. No one has any idea why.
• Scandinavians consume the most milk in the EU. Ireland drinks hella, too, so the dairy boards consider it a Scandinavian country. They've obviously never taken a close look at Miss Ireland.
• In Albania, people sell milk in used 2 liter Coke bottles on street corners. I've been reading a lot about drugs lately, too, and I'm telling you, the milk market in Albania is exactly like drug dealers in American cities, right down to having a hidden stash, 'branding' your product, fighting your competitors, etc. That shit will be on 'The Wire' next season, watch.
• Up until hella recently, people in the center of London had 'urban farms' where they kept a few cows and sold milk to their neighbors. Straight out the cows' titamins.

Five minutes...

I came up with this idea a few months ago, but I kinda forgot about it. The idea is to go around and take pictures of shit that is within five minutes of your house on whatever is the normal mode of transportation. This means that in London it'd be walking (or the Tube, I guess, if you can make it down and up the escalator that fast), in Seattle it'd be driving, and here in Copenhagen it's biking. All the following shit is within five minutes of me.


I did this at my old place on Amager, so I'll have to do it at my new one. Expect less shrubbery.

The 'chive

This is my first post at my new Internet home. For the story of my first year in Denmark, otherwise known as '300 pastries, 12 bike accidents and a fistful of cartoons,' check out spaces.msn.com/rottinindenmark.

There's also a ton of photo galleries, amply documenting my nine months in Aarhus and summer in Copenhagen. Most also document my inappropriate surplus of chest hair. Enjoy!